I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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