She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
