i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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