Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I want to have your abortion
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
