Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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