Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hello my rib-scented angel!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
