turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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