She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
