The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
