Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
