I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
