we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
