If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
