She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
