My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize