So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
