I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
