i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
