i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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