He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
