he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize