So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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