Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
