Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
