drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
