if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize