this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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