do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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