he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
