At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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