dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize