yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
