did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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