I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
