Sry I called you an 8
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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