Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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