official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
