he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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