Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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