But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
