Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
