ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
