After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
