i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize