o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
