the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
