Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I smell like Dick and happiness
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