Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I currently don't understand fingers.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
