I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize