I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
