OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
