my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
