see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize