THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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