I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
