Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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