I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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