hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
