Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
