he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
