I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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