She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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