took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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