I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
