I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
