YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i've created a new STD.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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