she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
