Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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