just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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